Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
