just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
