Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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