A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
