If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
