the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
