He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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