but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
