youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
