Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
