Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
