i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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