He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
