Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
