HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
