Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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