Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
