So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
