you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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