She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
