If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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