Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
