Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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