I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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