i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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