You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
