So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
