Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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