yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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