just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
