Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
