the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
