I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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