YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
