Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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