why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
