Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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