exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
