another moral hangover. fuck.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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