i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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