You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
