My hand turned me down
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Come see our sink grown plant.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
