Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
