shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
