Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
