I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
