if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
