He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He passed out mid-signature
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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