...so i touched it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
