8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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